There is an ache that takes hold of me
deep at its core
it is an ocean of loss,
of love smothered
Amaly, my child
Amaly
name I still call in my sleep,
with the enormousness of longing,
to love her,
to mother her,
to be frustrated and tired by her
to have bore witness to the life
she would have lived
odd as it is, to embrace the ache is like
holding her again
in the cradle of those
moments in which
she looked back
at me with the
the brilliance of recognition
"Mami, I know you, I am glad you are here"
it is a month-long ache
the seventeenth of may to the seventeenth of june
every day weighted by the
simultaneity of living and remembering
on this day...
I labored for twelve hours
on this day...
she was still in a coma
on this day...
they removed life support
on this day...
we went before Yemaya
on this day
we brought her home
on this day
she took her last breath...
blessed by the ache
blessed by the child
Amaly Celeste
forever
